Pin-Ups

 It’s a wee while since I was a teenager … but I plumbed the depths of my memory to write Back to the Sixties, a short story which is published in The People’s Friend this week (issue dated 19 October).

They have given it a lovely illustration complete with LPs and a portable record player, a Jackie annual and of course some pin-ups. (The story is set in the 1990s and the character is looking back to being fourteen.)

What sparked the story was meeting up with old schoolfriends (well, not old old obviously … ) and reminiscing about the discussions in the girls’ cloakrooms on Friday mornings after an episode of Top of the Pops the previous evening, and on Monday mornings after the new Top 20 was announced on Sunday. Goodness, teenagers nowadays don’t know what they’re missing … these things were crucially important.

Some of my classmates were fanatical about particular stars and regarded them as their own property – no one else was allowed to even like them.

No internet to trawl back then – information on our heroes (and the glossy pix to pin up on our walls) came from magazines such as Jackie and Fab 208. I remember one girl in tears when she found out that Glen Campbell was married – he was supposed to wait for her; and another loudly jubilant when Dean Ford and Marmalade got to number one with Obladi Oblada. Andy Fairweather Low from Amen Corner and Steve Ellis from Love Affair were other jealously guarded favourites.

And yes, as in my story, there was one brave lass who held out for Andy Stewart …

My own pop pin-up was Peter Noone from Herman’s Hermits (There’s a Kind of Hush, Something is Happening, My Sentimental Friend – I remember most of the words; do join in) and many years later did actually see him in concert in Edinburgh when he was on a Solid Silver golden oldies tour. He hadn’t changed that much: Peter Pan rather than Peter Noone, a fact commented on with envy by a couple of his fellow performers.

I’d changed of course – and thank goodness, because who would like to stay fourteen for ever? Apart from pimples and general awkwardness, there was the way you were treated by adults – you were old enough to be sensible apparently but far too young to do anything you really wanted to do.

There were non-pop pin ups too – James Drury who played the lead in The Virginian (the American western TV series; my sister and I preferred his sidekick Trampas after whom we named a collie); William Shatner from Star Trek; and footballers George Best and ‘Scotland’s George Best’ Peter Marinello. Weirdly (I think now) we were all interested in football and I recorded the Saturday results in my diary. A story subject for another time perhaps.

Who was your pin-up? (You are not allowed to have Peter Noone, remember … )

Beauty Tips for Girls

One of the books I read in June, of which more anon, was Beauty Tips for Girls, by Scottish writer Margaret Montgomery. A blackly funny contemporary novel (highly recommended), it’s told in three voices – Katie, a fifteen-year-old girl; Corinne, Katie’s mother, who has descended into drink following the death of her young son; and Jane, Katie’s teacher.

Katie reads Misty, a magazine aimed at girls her age, which includes advice on sexual positions, really cruel comments about celebrities, and advertisements for cosmetic surgery. It is one of these small ads that drives Katie to tell her dad she’s staying with a friend when she’s actually made an appointment with a London plastic surgeon.

It made me think about the advice doled out to girls and young women over the years, as chronicled in my various book/magazine collections. For example:

‘Girls of this age [fifteen or sixteen] are particularly apt to look untidy if their dresses are not chosen properly for them. … Nearly all young girls will look well in Magyar blouses and quite plain skirts.’

Article in Woman’s Weekly 1911 (in The Woman’s Weekly Keepsake Book of Vintage Childhood, available now in newsagents. This is a great series – to read and for writerly research.)

‘Why it is necessary for women to powder and paint and black their eyes between the courses [in a restaurant] is one of the unsolved problems of these unhappy times.’

The Girl’s Own Annual (no date but probably the late 1920s)

‘Thick ankles cannot be slimmed overnight but perseverance and patience for a couple of months will work wonders. Olive oil rubbed in every night is invaluable … ’

Aunt Kate’s Household Companion (1938)

‘It is comforting to know that however shy and awkward a girl may feel, a boy of her own age is likely to be still less composed.’

The Girl’s World (1950)

‘Horizontal stripes make fatties look wider than ever.’

‘Fussy prints, button, frills and bows make fatties look bitty and lumpy.’

and

‘You’ve got your little eye on this fanciable fella, but as far as he’s concerned, you just don’t exist! … 21 ways to make him notice you:

Drop the ice-cream you’re licking all over his sleeve. Then you have to clean it off, don’t you!'

Jackie Annual 1975

‘Twenty Ways to Make Him Come On Strong: How to put back the sparkle into a love affair that’s gone flat:

 Force him to look at you. Do the vacuuming in bra and pants.

Amaze him by turning up for a date dressed totally in violet – turban, lipstick, dress, tights, shoes, with undies dyed to match.’

I wonder how many Cosmopolitan readers took those pieces of advice.